Saturday, May 22, 2010

Free Market Hogwash

Conservative Hypocrisy
Savannah, GA. Conservatives--lately teapublicans--love to trumpet the benefits of a free market sans Marxist (gasp!) Socialist (horrors!) governmental intervention.

We won't even address the bizarro-world/Cloud Cuckooland and altered reality of the so-called libertarians--those blinkered fools who especially like to post comments on the government R&D'd internet, or who won't admit that capitalism always resorts to government in the end: gotta have government laws to protect those free market business contracts and government courts to enforce the free market contract laws, and police to remove squatters from your free market land and water--those rights to something you didn't make, couldn't create (the water, the land) but were awarded nonetheless through an exchange by the (yet, again) government--but that's grist for another column, another day.

A truly free market would scare the panties off of these breathless conservatives. Shall we discuss farm subsidies? Or BP's (hell, every oil company's) liability limitations in the Gulf of Mexico? Conservatives are all over the free market like out-of-town Baptists in a whorehouse at convention time. Yet these 'all for one; all for me' Free Marketeers do love themselves a little squeeze of big, ole, bad, guv'ment when it comes to socializing risk and privatizing profit. They'll switch and pitch for the other team if it means some actual public money--all the while inveighing against socialist handouts. They'll quote their Ayn Rand and get all moist at the mention of the "invisible hand."

In an actual Free Market, the hailstorm that flattens your crop before harvest would ruin the farm. One bad year, one major disaster, and you lose the enterprise. That's the nature of the REAL Free Market at work. I have yet to hear one of these Teapublicans advocating anything close to true laissez faire capitalism. Like the little boy who, when told masturbating would make him go blind, opined, "Can I just do it until I need glasses?" These so-called conservatives want just enough socialism to keep themselves in the green. Little boys, indeed.

Greed does strange things to an otherwise orderly mind.